Mishloach Manos – A Deeper Look

THE MITZVAH
The Michtav M’Eliyahu writes that the best way to form a relationship is to give. When you give, you
develop your Ahavas Yisroel to the other person. Mordechai and his Beis Din enacted that on the day of
Purim each person must send a gift of at least two portions of food to a friend. This is seen from the
verse in Megilas Esther, “Umishloach manos ish l’reyehu.”

THE REASONS
What is the reason behind the mitzvah of shalach manos? Two reasons are brought down. The Terumas
HaDeshen (Siman 111) writes that it is to ensure that the recipients not run out of food items to serve
for their meals.
The Manos HaLevi on Megillas Esther (9:19), written by Rav Shlomo Alkabetz and cited by the Chasam
Sofer, writes an altogether different reason: to increase peace and brotherly love. This is the opposite of
the characterization of the Jewish people by Haman as a nation “Mefuzar umefurad” spread and
standing apart on account of internal arguments.

PREAMBLE AND INTENTIONS
The Yesod v’Shoresh HaAvodah writes that one should recite the following preamble before fulfilling the
Mitzvah:
לשם יחוד קודשא בריך הוא הריני מוכן ומזומן לקיים מצות עשה של דברי קבלה “ומשלוח מנות איש לרעהו.”
When performing the Mitzvah one should not just perform it perfunctorily, but should focus on the
qualities of the recipient and place within his heart a strong love for his fellow man. He should intend to
honor him and to strengthen his inner joy with this package of Shalach Manos.

WHO IS OBLIGATED
Men and women are both included in this mitzvah. The halachah is that men send to men, and women
send to women. Women are obligated in the mitzvah because, according to the Mishnah Berurah, “they
too were involved in the miracle.” A child should be instructed to fulfill the Mitzvah just as one instructs
a child to fulfill all the other Mitzvos. The child may send to another child, as the other child is
considered his or her peer.
Even a poor person is required to fulfill the mitzvah of mishloach manos. The mitzvah of mishloach
manos may not be fulfilled with money, clothing, or other non-food or non-drink items. The mitzvah
may only be fulfilled with kosher items.

HOW FANCY
Another little-known halachah about shalach manos is found in an esoteric Biur Halachah (written by the
Chofetz Chaim) in Orach Chaim 695. He writes that the Chayei Adam has proved from a passage in the
Talmud Yerushalmi that if one sends a Purim package to a wealthy individual, the package must be a
respectable one.

Thus, one should not send something below the kavod of the recipient. The poskim have ruled that a
lollipop is not considered chashuv for an adult, nor is a bottle of Poland Spring water or seltzer. To fulfill
the Mitzvah, the portions must convey sufficient regard for the recipient.
The Biur Halachah writes that the Ritva’s comment on his version of the Talmud Bavli agrees with the
Chayei Adam. A careful reading of the Ritva, however, reveals that the Ritva and Chayei Adam are not
exactly the same. Both of them require an upgraded Purim package on account of wealth; of that there
is no question. However, the Ritva’s requirement is of the wealth of the giver—not the recipient. In
other words, according to the Ritva, if the giver is very wealthy, his package must reflect that as well and
he cannot fulfill the mitzvah with a meager package. Since the Biur Halachah does quote both the Chayei
Adam and the Ritva, both would seem to be authoritative.
Therefore, one should not send something below the kavod of the giver or the recipient.

NATURE OF THE PACKAGE
The mitzvah must be fulfilled only with foods that are immediately edible or drinkable. The Magen
Avraham, Vilna Gaon, and Chayei Adam hold this way. The Pri Chadash is lenient. We rule in accordance
with the former view.
An item that requires further cooking or preparation may be added, but two immediately usable foods
must be included, too. It is praiseworthy to send portions to as many friends as possible. It is better,
however, to give more matanos la’evyonim than to give more mishloach manos to friends.

THE TWO BLESSINGS MYTH
There is no need for the two different food items to have two separate berachos. This is one of the
biggest misconceptions in Hilchos Purim. There is an issue, however, of taking one food item and cutting
it in half into two slices. The Aruch haShulchan (OC 695:14) writes that just because one cut it in half it
should be considered two foods? Perhaps it is this statement of the Aruch HaShulchan that has caused
the two blessing myth to exist. If someone sends another two pieces of meat from two different limbs
that tastes slightly different this is considered two foods (Mikraie Kodesh SIman 38).

THROUGH A MESSENGER
Ideally, mishloach manos should be sent through a messenger, rather than be delivered personally.
Generally speaking, we say, “Mitzvah bo yoser mi’b’shlucho” — it is a bigger mitzvah to do it oneself
rather than through a messenger. Regarding the search for chametz before Pesach, it is better to do it
oneself. Here, though, it is different. The Chsam Sopher writes in his commentary to the Talmud (Gittin
22b), that the pasuk says, “and the sending of gifts – mishloach manos” which indicates that it should be
done through a messenger. A gift sent through a messenger is fancier and nicer. If one did deliver the
mishloach manos oneself, the obligation is still fulfilled.
Virtually all the poskim rule that a goy or a child may be a shaliach for mishloach manos. Rabbi Akiva
Eiger, zt”l, was unsure of this, however.

SENT TOGETHER
Must the two foods be sent together? Rav Elyashiv zt”l is of the position that they must. May one of the
foods be a liquid? Most authorities hold that one of the foods may certainly be a liquid (except for water), and this is the authoritative view. There is a reading of Rabbeinu Chananel that holds a liquid
may not be one of the two food items. This view is apparently not l’halachah.

GIFT CERTIFICATES
Does sending money to buy food or sending a gift certificate at a restaurant work? Some Acharonim
hold that it does, but many hold not. The language of the Rambam (Hilchos Megillah, Chapter 2) seems
to indicate that it must be real food and not a gift certificate or money.
REFUSAL OF GIFT
What if a package is prepared and the recipient responds with a “No, thank you?” Has the sender
fulfilled the mitzvah in such a case? According to the Terumas HaDeshen it would seem not; according to
the second opinion he very well might. It is interesting to note that the Rema in O.C. 695 writes that one
has fulfilled the mitzvah. The Pri Chadash questions this position and does not understand it. Our
aforementioned Chasam Sofer answers the dilemma by suggesting that the Rema holds like the Manos
HaLevi. Perhaps one can point out, however, that even according to the Manos HaLevi, the full effect of
the shalach manos has not been achieved. Peace and brotherly love is a two-way street, and the giver
doesn’t necessarily feel so good if his gift is refused. So how can the Rema be understood? It is only if
the recipient responds gently, “Don’t worry about it; you don’t need to actually give it to me.” Rav
Ovadiah Yoseph, however, holds that Sephardim should not rely on this Rema and send the shalach
manos to someone else.

ANONYMITY
Does the recipient have to know who sent it, or does anonymity work? The Ksav Sofer (responsa O.C. 141) relates the issue to the two reasons mentioned above. He recommends that one be stringent and avoid anonymity. Rav Elyashiv zt”l ruled that one does not fulfill the Mitzvah with anonymity.

LOST OR STOLEN
What happens if the shalach manos that you had sent got lost or stolen? The Birchei Yoseph writes that
one must send it again.

THROUGH A CHILD
May one fulfill the mitzvah by sending to a child? The verse in the Megillah uses the term “Umishloach
manos ish l’rei’eihu—and the sending of portions each man to his peer.” The Aruch HaShulchan permits
it and considers a child a “peer.” Other poskim disagree with the Aruch HaShulchan. It is, therefore,
better to send it to an adult.

TO A MOURNER
What about sending shalach manos to a mourner? The Rema states that one should not send during the
entire twelve months of mourning. This halachah is true for Ashkenazim. Sephardim, however, can
receive shalach manos during mourning. The mourner, however, should send to one person, but should
avoid sending items that arouse great joy. One may send to the spouse of a mourner. The Divrei Malkiel
(Vol. V) writes that one may send to one’s teacher even if he is a mourner because this is considered
similar to a payment of an obligation.

THE PACKAGING
Should at least two of the food items be wrapped separately or in two different containers? Some
authorities (the Ben Ish Chai) hold that if they are sent together then the container itself may make it as
if it is one food. Thus, Raisin Bran would only be considered one food item unless one separated the
raisins from the cereal into two plastic baggies. Others (Sheim M’Shimshon, O.C. #31) write that the
container does not make it into one food.

TIMING
When should the shalach manos package be given? It must be given in the daytime and not at night. The
mitzvah should also be fulfilled, ideally, before one begins the Purim seudah.

SCHOOL AND SHUL PROGRAMS
What about the school and shul? Schools and shuls often send out a flyer and request you to participate
in their shalach manos program when they send out a list of who sent to you. While this idea is fantastic
in terms of reducing the waste and excess in shalach manos giving, the givers should be aware that one
cannot and does not fulfill the actual mitzvah with this form of giving. Many people are unaware of this
fact.